I love other people's love stories. This couple is such an inspiration to me. Please check out their blog and watch the videos of them telling their story. They are remarkable people! This song reminds me of them :)
Love Like This blog: http://www.lovelikethislife.com/
Showing posts with label Around the Fire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Around the Fire. Show all posts
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Addendum to "Trust in Truth": a post from Larissa Murphy
Trust in Truth
Today I read the blog of a man and woman who are married, but they have no conventional marriage. The husband is disabled - he has severe traumatic brain damage. The accident happened while they were dating. Five years later they decided together that they should be married. The husband still suffers from his lifelong disabilities and his wife has committed to being his lifelong care-giver. She is not partaking of a traditionally happy-rose-colored marriage; she even says on her blog that it is difficult to rejoice in their type of marriage. Yet, God brought that man and that woman together, and He put it on that woman's heart to keep loving that man and to marry him, despite the challenges and disappointment.
We cannot trust God to make sense. Have you ever thought about that? I have. Many times. When I was a little girl, I remember being very angry with God. I remember wondering in my head, "Why would a good God let bad things happen?" I've known many good people who have had horrible tragedies befall them. And God stood by and let it happen. Good women have been raped - women who love the Lord and want to do what's right have been kidnapped and viciously stripped of their purity (and I'm not referring to women in Africa.... I'm referring to women in the US who live in nice neighborhoods); good men have been sent to war and captured and tortured; babies have been born dead to good parents and babies have died in their sleep while their good parents were home; innocent children have been molested and still those children go on trying to be good. The stories go on of bad things happening to good people.....
We cannot trust God to make sense. Because in our human frailty and fallenness we will never be able to make sense of what an infinite, sovereign Lord ordains.
Interestingly, in studying Biblical texts and the historical accounts we find that the words of the holy scriptures do not contradict themselves. The Bible has outlasted any other historical document as being the most accurate, the most read, and the most printed. It is fully true. And it tells us about God. So it can be trusted to be an honest description of God's character.
And this is what it says in the book of Psalms (these things are started throughout the scriptures, but I have posted just one passage for your enlightenment)......
2 Great are the works of the Lord;
They are [c] studied by all who delight in them.
3 [d] Splendid and majestic is His work,
And His righteousness endures forever.
4 He has made His [e]wonders [f]to be remembered;
The Lord is gracious and compassionate.
5 He has given [g]food to those who [h]fear Him;
He will remember His covenant forever.
6 He has made known to His people the power of His works,
In giving them the heritage of the nations.
Notice the characteristics of God in bold. His attributes endure forever. He does what is right. He is what is right. He knows what is right for the people that He created. He is trustworthy.
On what basis can we claim that He is trustworthy? The basis of absolute truth: that He is who He says He is and that He will never change. Can we claim that He is trustworthy based on our own understanding of what He does? No. We will fail to trust Him if we base our faith on our own will.
I thought I would post these thoughts I have been grappling with today on our Manly&Babe blog, because these thoughts effect how I view our future. And they are thoughts and beliefs that Manly and I share. We are trusting the Lord with our lives, with our future marriage, with our future family. Come what may. The vows we will make on October 27th will bind us to one another through rain or shine. Our hope is in Him. And we are encouraged by stories of faith, such as by Ian & Larissa Murphy.
We cannot trust God to make sense. Have you ever thought about that? I have. Many times. When I was a little girl, I remember being very angry with God. I remember wondering in my head, "Why would a good God let bad things happen?" I've known many good people who have had horrible tragedies befall them. And God stood by and let it happen. Good women have been raped - women who love the Lord and want to do what's right have been kidnapped and viciously stripped of their purity (and I'm not referring to women in Africa.... I'm referring to women in the US who live in nice neighborhoods); good men have been sent to war and captured and tortured; babies have been born dead to good parents and babies have died in their sleep while their good parents were home; innocent children have been molested and still those children go on trying to be good. The stories go on of bad things happening to good people.....
We cannot trust God to make sense. Because in our human frailty and fallenness we will never be able to make sense of what an infinite, sovereign Lord ordains.
Interestingly, in studying Biblical texts and the historical accounts we find that the words of the holy scriptures do not contradict themselves. The Bible has outlasted any other historical document as being the most accurate, the most read, and the most printed. It is fully true. And it tells us about God. So it can be trusted to be an honest description of God's character.
And this is what it says in the book of Psalms (these things are started throughout the scriptures, but I have posted just one passage for your enlightenment)......
Psalm 111
The Lord Praised for His Goodness.
I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart,
In the company of the upright and in the assembly.2 Great are the works of the Lord;
They are [c] studied by all who delight in them.
3 [d] Splendid and majestic is His work,
And His righteousness endures forever.
4 He has made His [e]wonders [f]to be remembered;
The Lord is gracious and compassionate.
5 He has given [g]food to those who [h]fear Him;
He will remember His covenant forever.
6 He has made known to His people the power of His works,
In giving them the heritage of the nations.
7 The works of His hands are [i] truth and justice;
All His precepts are [j]sure.
8 They are upheld forever and ever;
They are performed in [k] truth and uprightness.
9 He has sent redemption to His people;
He has [l]ordained His covenant forever;
Holy and [m]awesome is His name.
10 The [n] fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who [o]do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.
All His precepts are [j]sure.
8 They are upheld forever and ever;
They are performed in [k] truth and uprightness.
9 He has sent redemption to His people;
He has [l]ordained His covenant forever;
Holy and [m]awesome is His name.
10 The [n] fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who [o]do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.
Notice the characteristics of God in bold. His attributes endure forever. He does what is right. He is what is right. He knows what is right for the people that He created. He is trustworthy.
On what basis can we claim that He is trustworthy? The basis of absolute truth: that He is who He says He is and that He will never change. Can we claim that He is trustworthy based on our own understanding of what He does? No. We will fail to trust Him if we base our faith on our own will.
I thought I would post these thoughts I have been grappling with today on our Manly&Babe blog, because these thoughts effect how I view our future. And they are thoughts and beliefs that Manly and I share. We are trusting the Lord with our lives, with our future marriage, with our future family. Come what may. The vows we will make on October 27th will bind us to one another through rain or shine. Our hope is in Him. And we are encouraged by stories of faith, such as by Ian & Larissa Murphy.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Dwell/Dwelt/Dwelling
It seems, in the blink of an eye, another weekend gone.
Manly sped up here Friday evening after his classes, since we hadn't seen each other in two weeks. I heartily embraced him when he walked in the door that evening. Saturday we spent the morning talking, catching up on each others' past weeks of opportunity and thought. Those morning hours on the weekends are so sweet for us. Quiet contentment in each others arms while chitchatting and then making a delightful little eggs and bacon breakfast together.
That same day Ian and I had our engagement photo shoot with our photographers. I won't give too many details away, so as not to spoil the antcipation of seeing the photos posted here in a couple weeks, but Ian and I asked them to capture the most special moments in our relationship up to this point that took place at specific locations. I wonder..... Can any of you guess what those locations or special moments were??? If you want to guess, post a reply to this post!
This morning Manly and I joined our congregation at City of Hope Church for Palm Sunday service to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth. With full hearts we sang to the God, who sent His Son Jesus to earth to do a most glorious thing: lay His life down as a perfect sacrifice for the remission of sins, for the redemption of all people who believe in His power to set us free from our bondage of sin. The service was meant to remind us of Christ's entry into Jerusalem a week prior to His death and resurrection; the purpose of His trip was to announce that He was the Messiah, the One who had come to be the Savior. The opportunity for fellowship and worship is very important and meaningful to me and Ian. After the message, we shared lunch with the many families in our congregation and gathered in groups to pray for one another.
Later in the day, Manly and I took naps, worked on taxes, took a jont around the lake at dusk, and ate a couple grilled-cheese before he hit the road.
It's difficult to describe what it feels like for me when he packs up his stuff and leaves. It's never a quick goodbye, although he keeps saying he's in a hurry. Tonight he came back to the porch, where I was standing to wave goodbye, five times just for ONE more goodnight kiss ;)
Somehow, I have this mixture of emotions about him driving off for another week apart. It's like a sense of loneliness even though my best girl friend lives in the area and I see my family every day; it's a sense of relief because I'll be able to get back to my to-do list without as much distraction; it's a sense of sweetness and delight that I am so in love with this man that I deeply desire to keep spending the rest of my life journey with him; it's a sense of longing and anticipation to just be in his arms and in his presense and listening to his steady voice a little while longer, even before his car's pulled out of the driveway.
It's amazing to be in love like this. I have never experience any relationship quite like it. This knowing, belonging, home-coming that we have found in each other is from God. He intended for this kind of relationship to be a bonding, an intoxication. And I can't help but wonder if God also intends for our relationship with Him to be just as full of loveliness and delight, anticipation and adventure. After all, He does call Himself the bridegroom and He does speak to us as His bride. I believe He desires the same bond and intimacy with us in a spiritual sense. Wow, what a wonder there is in finding out more about this King of kings through earthly relationships that He has designed to mirror His own characteristics and ways of relating to us. Dwell on that for a little while, why don't you? :)
Manly sped up here Friday evening after his classes, since we hadn't seen each other in two weeks. I heartily embraced him when he walked in the door that evening. Saturday we spent the morning talking, catching up on each others' past weeks of opportunity and thought. Those morning hours on the weekends are so sweet for us. Quiet contentment in each others arms while chitchatting and then making a delightful little eggs and bacon breakfast together.
That same day Ian and I had our engagement photo shoot with our photographers. I won't give too many details away, so as not to spoil the antcipation of seeing the photos posted here in a couple weeks, but Ian and I asked them to capture the most special moments in our relationship up to this point that took place at specific locations. I wonder..... Can any of you guess what those locations or special moments were??? If you want to guess, post a reply to this post!
This morning Manly and I joined our congregation at City of Hope Church for Palm Sunday service to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth. With full hearts we sang to the God, who sent His Son Jesus to earth to do a most glorious thing: lay His life down as a perfect sacrifice for the remission of sins, for the redemption of all people who believe in His power to set us free from our bondage of sin. The service was meant to remind us of Christ's entry into Jerusalem a week prior to His death and resurrection; the purpose of His trip was to announce that He was the Messiah, the One who had come to be the Savior. The opportunity for fellowship and worship is very important and meaningful to me and Ian. After the message, we shared lunch with the many families in our congregation and gathered in groups to pray for one another.
Later in the day, Manly and I took naps, worked on taxes, took a jont around the lake at dusk, and ate a couple grilled-cheese before he hit the road.
It's difficult to describe what it feels like for me when he packs up his stuff and leaves. It's never a quick goodbye, although he keeps saying he's in a hurry. Tonight he came back to the porch, where I was standing to wave goodbye, five times just for ONE more goodnight kiss ;)
Somehow, I have this mixture of emotions about him driving off for another week apart. It's like a sense of loneliness even though my best girl friend lives in the area and I see my family every day; it's a sense of relief because I'll be able to get back to my to-do list without as much distraction; it's a sense of sweetness and delight that I am so in love with this man that I deeply desire to keep spending the rest of my life journey with him; it's a sense of longing and anticipation to just be in his arms and in his presense and listening to his steady voice a little while longer, even before his car's pulled out of the driveway.
It's amazing to be in love like this. I have never experience any relationship quite like it. This knowing, belonging, home-coming that we have found in each other is from God. He intended for this kind of relationship to be a bonding, an intoxication. And I can't help but wonder if God also intends for our relationship with Him to be just as full of loveliness and delight, anticipation and adventure. After all, He does call Himself the bridegroom and He does speak to us as His bride. I believe He desires the same bond and intimacy with us in a spiritual sense. Wow, what a wonder there is in finding out more about this King of kings through earthly relationships that He has designed to mirror His own characteristics and ways of relating to us. Dwell on that for a little while, why don't you? :)
Monday, March 12, 2012
Topic for Discussion: Living Together Before Marriage
To live together or not to live together? That is the question.
It's a trend to live with one's significant other these days, and many couples choose to before considering the possibility of marriage. I was discussing this very thing with a coworker, who is a proponent of living together, and she mentioned that in her psych class statistics show that there is a higher divorce rate after the couple lived together prior to their marital commitment. So I wonder..... Why would that be? And why are most people ok with a lifestyle that produces a statistically negative outcome, like she is?
My coworker believes that living together can help a couple get to know each other better, which will help them make the decision about whether or not to be married. Others have told me that a couple is meant to be together one way or another (the pop coin phrase: "it's their destiny") and that living together before marriage or even getting married, for that matter, is not the deciding factor.
Huh, says I.
I'm not trying to be overly intellectual by saying this, but these really are illogical thought processes concerning the issue, and it seems to me a majority of society is not willing to face reality for what it is.......
Let's reason through it this way. Here are three potential characteristics of the live-together couple and the foundation they could build pre legal commitment; I will explain why there is a potential for these characteristics to develop......
A.) Potential for distrust:
Distrust can be fostered, because neither partner is fully committed to the other when they're just cohabiting; it takes a license and thousands of dollars for a celebration (if a couple so chooses) to make it the real deal. But prior to all that "fluff," neither partner is obligated to completely trust the other one, because there's no expectation that the relationship will last.
So why would it be any different post marriage? If you were willing to live with your partner in a married way - sharing the same living space, sharing the same bed, starting and ending the day together - without being married, how does having a license and a wedding change the dynamics of the relationship? Wouldn't there be some sense of distrust, because the person moved in with you before, not knowing if he/she wanted to be with you forever..... Couldn't he/she decide that after marriage, too? Isn't that why statistics show such a high divorce rate for couples who live together first?
B.) Potential for dishonesty:
Dishonesty can be fostered, because there is no public contract (which is stated in the marriage vows) to love one another for better or worse and because there is no foundation of trust. A bride and groom make vows to one another as a promise until death parts them; they want each other and those around them to know that they trust each other and are committing to total, raw trust and honesty.
But for those who live together before getting married, their relationship has the potential for failure. Honesty has not been the priority from the beginning, because they've shared a bed with that partner just like they did with the person before (or the next person, for that matter). There's no honesty when there's been no vow. And a person's word about love and togetherness is not enough to go on - it's a persons actions that speak louder about their honest intentions.
C.) Potential for discontentment:
Discontentment can be fostered, because living together is a casually comfortable commitment that can be gotten out of just as easily as it was gotten into. Contentment comes with staying the course and knowing that, no matter what, the relationship has to work. Whereas discontentment comes when something feels old and discontinued and something else looks newer and brighter.
Every human experiences discontentment at one point or another in his life; it's a predictable result of living in a broken and sinful world. But that discontentment doesn't have to be the feeling that allows one to stay or go in a relationship. Discontentment can be overcome by putting forth the effort to make the next best step. So, for a couple that lives together, they may decide that they've been together long enough to know that they can get along and they're comfortable staying together, therefore, in order to stave off discontentment (or ignore it) they get married. Is that really a good reason to get married, though? Considering the possibilities for distrust and dishonesty, is getting married really going to create contentment? Becoming discontent is a real possibility, whether a couple is dating, engaged or married, so what's going to hold a person back from just picking up and moving on?
To live together or to not live together? Is it wise to do pre marriage? That is the question. Well.....
Here's how Manly and Babe would answer that. We've learned a lot about each other through a variety of circumstances in our year and a half of dating, but we've never lived together in the same house nor have we ever shared the same bed. We'd much rather get to know each other's character, personal lifestyle preferences, habits, families, communication styles, and things like that before we live together. And we'll only live together once we've made a public commitment before God and witnesses to be forever trustworthy, honest and content. To live together is what we are aiming for, and it's taken a lot of hard work to prepare us for that big step, which merits a license, a celebration, and a mug of beer, as Manly would like to add :)
It's a trend to live with one's significant other these days, and many couples choose to before considering the possibility of marriage. I was discussing this very thing with a coworker, who is a proponent of living together, and she mentioned that in her psych class statistics show that there is a higher divorce rate after the couple lived together prior to their marital commitment. So I wonder..... Why would that be? And why are most people ok with a lifestyle that produces a statistically negative outcome, like she is?
My coworker believes that living together can help a couple get to know each other better, which will help them make the decision about whether or not to be married. Others have told me that a couple is meant to be together one way or another (the pop coin phrase: "it's their destiny") and that living together before marriage or even getting married, for that matter, is not the deciding factor.
Huh, says I.
I'm not trying to be overly intellectual by saying this, but these really are illogical thought processes concerning the issue, and it seems to me a majority of society is not willing to face reality for what it is.......
Let's reason through it this way. Here are three potential characteristics of the live-together couple and the foundation they could build pre legal commitment; I will explain why there is a potential for these characteristics to develop......
A.) Potential for distrust:
Distrust can be fostered, because neither partner is fully committed to the other when they're just cohabiting; it takes a license and thousands of dollars for a celebration (if a couple so chooses) to make it the real deal. But prior to all that "fluff," neither partner is obligated to completely trust the other one, because there's no expectation that the relationship will last.
So why would it be any different post marriage? If you were willing to live with your partner in a married way - sharing the same living space, sharing the same bed, starting and ending the day together - without being married, how does having a license and a wedding change the dynamics of the relationship? Wouldn't there be some sense of distrust, because the person moved in with you before, not knowing if he/she wanted to be with you forever..... Couldn't he/she decide that after marriage, too? Isn't that why statistics show such a high divorce rate for couples who live together first?
B.) Potential for dishonesty:
Dishonesty can be fostered, because there is no public contract (which is stated in the marriage vows) to love one another for better or worse and because there is no foundation of trust. A bride and groom make vows to one another as a promise until death parts them; they want each other and those around them to know that they trust each other and are committing to total, raw trust and honesty.
But for those who live together before getting married, their relationship has the potential for failure. Honesty has not been the priority from the beginning, because they've shared a bed with that partner just like they did with the person before (or the next person, for that matter). There's no honesty when there's been no vow. And a person's word about love and togetherness is not enough to go on - it's a persons actions that speak louder about their honest intentions.
C.) Potential for discontentment:
Discontentment can be fostered, because living together is a casually comfortable commitment that can be gotten out of just as easily as it was gotten into. Contentment comes with staying the course and knowing that, no matter what, the relationship has to work. Whereas discontentment comes when something feels old and discontinued and something else looks newer and brighter.
Every human experiences discontentment at one point or another in his life; it's a predictable result of living in a broken and sinful world. But that discontentment doesn't have to be the feeling that allows one to stay or go in a relationship. Discontentment can be overcome by putting forth the effort to make the next best step. So, for a couple that lives together, they may decide that they've been together long enough to know that they can get along and they're comfortable staying together, therefore, in order to stave off discontentment (or ignore it) they get married. Is that really a good reason to get married, though? Considering the possibilities for distrust and dishonesty, is getting married really going to create contentment? Becoming discontent is a real possibility, whether a couple is dating, engaged or married, so what's going to hold a person back from just picking up and moving on?
To live together or to not live together? Is it wise to do pre marriage? That is the question. Well.....
Here's how Manly and Babe would answer that. We've learned a lot about each other through a variety of circumstances in our year and a half of dating, but we've never lived together in the same house nor have we ever shared the same bed. We'd much rather get to know each other's character, personal lifestyle preferences, habits, families, communication styles, and things like that before we live together. And we'll only live together once we've made a public commitment before God and witnesses to be forever trustworthy, honest and content. To live together is what we are aiming for, and it's taken a lot of hard work to prepare us for that big step, which merits a license, a celebration, and a mug of beer, as Manly would like to add :)
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Learning in Love
Every couple enjoys different types of activities together..... some couples go out for coffee in the evenings, sit around and kiss for a while, some snuggle up for an episode of Top Gear, others have Friday night dinner dates, or watch a chick-flick (c'mon guys.... admit it), and find a comfy couch to share a few smooches, some go mountain hiking, or just find a good book to read together... and swap a few pecks after every chapter. But Ian and I have been way more creative with our quality time ;) Haha!
The truth is - those are all activities that define our relationship. And spending quality time together in those ways has strengthened and matured our bond in friendship, courtship and now engagement.
Oddly enough, we really do like to read together. Or.... er, I think it's a good idea so I suggest it (on a Sunday afternoon typically) to which Ian face-palms and groans, "Another book about relationships?" And I reply with a superior air, "Yes. I have a BA in Psychology, therefore, I believe it's important for all couples to discuss the various factors and levels of their relationship in order to maintain healthy intimacy." To which Ian face-palms again.
But no, really, Ian and I have found it quite helpful to read a smattering from a few resources now and then. Certain topics or pieces of information from scholarly sources have spurred on discussions between the two of us about who we are as individuals, our future family goals, our Biblical knowledge of finances, or how to serve the Lord. I thought I'd share with you some of the books that Ian and I have enjoyed (below each cover is a personal description), and I hope you will post in return some of the resources you and yours have gleaned from as well.
We started flipping through this one when we were new at getting to know one another. Never finished it but it was helpful to get the ball rolling on some of the topics, such as how we mimic our same-gender parent in relationship roles.
This book was given to us by a dear older married man that Ian stayed with while we visited Dayton last Spring. We have used this resource as a reference when we need to fix (understand) the other lightbulb ;)
This devotional, gifted to us by my dad, journeys through the wisdom and the application of God's Word. It's been refreshing for us to meditate together and to pray through scripture.
Yes, we have picked up this on occasion. Though Ian might be a little embarrassed by the cover. But, we may actually use a passage from it in our wedding ceremony. This little book is a compilation of Elisabeth Elliot's nougats of advice (written journal style) to her engaged daughter. She artfully, tactfully explained in a series of notes about the reality of marrying a sinner, which Ian and I read together, and it helped us approach our expectations of one another reasonably.
Our pastor - Irwyn Ince - from City of Hope is currently taking us through the chapters of this premarital counseling book. Ian and I would recommend this to any couple that has not yet delved into pertinent topics concerning marriage and family and all the things that go along with preparing to be life-partners. This book covers a range of topics and facilitates introspection and group discussions. Irwyn is taking me and Ian through it with a different spin, since we have already traversed a lot of ground in our period of dating.
This was Ian's Valentine's gift to me ;) The poor man had been through hell and back that particular week of fire academy, and all he could think of was how to survive..... and then give me something for Valentine's to show me how much he needed me to understand what he was going through. We are in the process of gleaning from this resource.
Please do share with us any funny, clever, insightful pieces of literature or advice that you have utilized in your relationship. Clearly, Manly and Babe love to learn :)
The truth is - those are all activities that define our relationship. And spending quality time together in those ways has strengthened and matured our bond in friendship, courtship and now engagement.
Oddly enough, we really do like to read together. Or.... er, I think it's a good idea so I suggest it (on a Sunday afternoon typically) to which Ian face-palms and groans, "Another book about relationships?" And I reply with a superior air, "Yes. I have a BA in Psychology, therefore, I believe it's important for all couples to discuss the various factors and levels of their relationship in order to maintain healthy intimacy." To which Ian face-palms again.
But no, really, Ian and I have found it quite helpful to read a smattering from a few resources now and then. Certain topics or pieces of information from scholarly sources have spurred on discussions between the two of us about who we are as individuals, our future family goals, our Biblical knowledge of finances, or how to serve the Lord. I thought I'd share with you some of the books that Ian and I have enjoyed (below each cover is a personal description), and I hope you will post in return some of the resources you and yours have gleaned from as well.
Please do share with us any funny, clever, insightful pieces of literature or advice that you have utilized in your relationship. Clearly, Manly and Babe love to learn :)
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