The Online Introduction

This was the post that started it all. I wrote this little description about myself when I joined Marry Well for a 5-day free trial. I had read other profiles of users and I was very unimpressed. Users seemed to be either too verbose or very reserved about introducing themselves on their profile; I figured there had to be some trick, some charm for writing a description that would draw in any seeker. When I wrote about myself my intention was to see if I could get people to respond to my wit and candor virtually as if they were meeting me in person. I wanted to be an intrigue. Just for the heck of it. I had no idea that it really would work and that a guy was really going to fall for my wit and candor. Haha!

Ian read this and was sold at "spunky" and the "Winnie the Pooh" moment.

Haha, the question is where to start? No person is cut and dried, black and white. What do I say about myself that paints a distinct, colorful picture (to show liveliness) that's yet somewhat abstract )to allow for mystique)? Hmmm..... let me try ;)
Spunky could be my middle name but instead it's Jean. I'm a teacher though I wouldn't mind being a pilot. I love the saxophone and don't know how to play it. I jump on trampolines as if I weren't close enough to the sky already. I think a lot so maybe I should find a log, sit on it, furrow my brow, and tap my forehead, 'Think, think, think' (says Winnie the Pooh). I'd live in a grand log house in the West mountains if I could. I'm called Short-Stuff by my brother because I'm shorter than he is. My mother calls me Precious because I'm her only daughter, and everyone else calls me CJ, because a double-name is too long to pronounce apparently. If I'm asked to go on a walk in the woods, I'll go, and if I'm asked to prance through the field, I'll already be doing that, and I don't mind a sprint either. I love to dance to most any kind of music so I'm a social butterfly, but I also sit in cafes with a good book for a friend or an actual friendly face. I feel that I'll never get old and will always enjoy life. I would paint more but I'm restless I guess. And, for sure, I know who the Lord is because I study His word, and I think it's a privilege to journey with Him on this side.... and will be on the other.
For deeper thoughts of mine, you can visit me at www.journeytoandfro.blogspot.com.

I think this may have been one of the pictures I posted.

Airport Love

Laughable

Our engagement pictures were sent to us today, and this one just made me laugh out loud! I had to share.

The Flight

November 4, 2010

It seems forever ago since we met each for the first time at BWI. At that point, we'd been talking on the phone for two months. We'd met through a Christian dating website in August, though both of us were subscribed to the site sort of as a joke or without any intention of meeting a future spouse. Ian and I had been burned by other relationships the year before, so we wanted to just develop friendships within our churches and online, so that we could have people our age to exchange intellectual thoughts with and have some kind of companionship. Ian was definitely at the stage in life of thinking he wanted to get married in the next few years. I was just in the I-don't-know-what-comes-next stage. I had kind of given up on my dream to be married before age 25. When Ian and I started corresponding on this informal, conversational dating website we found that we had a lot of similar theological, biblical, cultural views. We enjoyed each other's thoughts and ideas so much that we would talk up to 25 hours a week. And we talked about everything. Past relationships, present decisions, future goals; stupid stuff, silly stuff, serious stuff; our interests, our pursuits, our differences. We really knew each other well, so it made sense for us to meet in person. Ian says now that he knew I was the girl for him before we met in person, whereas I just wanted to have fun with the whole experience (as you can see in the picture above). But here we are now, nearly two years later, and we are best friends and true companions (as you can see in the picture below). We're thankful we took the risk of meeting and then chose to take the flight of love together.

March 31, 2012

Addendum to "Trust in Truth": a post from Larissa Murphy

Counting the Cost

Marriage is a huge decision. Every couple pursuing marriage must count the costs of a lifetime commitment. For some couples the cost can be as big as giving up a career to move to a new place, or as "small" as giving up holiday traditions to make new ones with in-laws.

The cost of our marriage seems more extreme. And it's not a "picture perfect" wedding that it sometimes feels like the rest of the world has or will have. Ian has a brain injury. Steve died from cancer. We have very little financial means. It's a possibility we won't be able to have children. The list of the "costs" goes on for awhile.

But all of these costs could happen in every single marriage. It's just that we know them in advance. There are no guarantees that anyone will ever be spared of these hardships and "costs." What's guaranteed is that we will have troubles.

So, I guess that logically brings us to why would we get married? Well, as simple as it is, because we love each other. And we enjoy each other. And we believe that Ian was created to be my husband and me to be his helper. Our marriage will look way different than we imagined four years ago. But it must mean something that I can't look at Ian without smiling. And that he has struggled every day for three years to get better- for me.

I hope this doesn't sound preachy. (no offense to our pastors who read this:) ) This is just the truth that I have to come back to at the end of the day through our engagement, as we wrestle through all of the costs and blessings this marriage will bring. Our marriage could last one month, five years, fifty years, until one of us goes to be with God. The most wonderful thing I can think of doing while anxiously waiting for that to happen, is to go through this crazy lifetime, as long or short as it may be, as husband and wife.

Thank you for always praying. I can't believe people still read what I have to write after three years.......wow.

Larissa

Trust in Truth

Today I read the blog of a man and woman who are married, but they have no conventional marriage. The husband is disabled - he has severe traumatic brain damage. The accident happened while they were dating. Five years later they decided together that they should be married. The husband still suffers from his lifelong disabilities and his wife has committed to being his lifelong care-giver. She is not partaking of a traditionally happy-rose-colored marriage; she even says on her blog that it is difficult to rejoice in their type of marriage. Yet, God brought that man and that woman together, and He put it on that woman's heart to keep loving that man and to marry him, despite the challenges and disappointment.


We cannot trust God to make sense. Have you ever thought about that? I have. Many times. When I was a little girl, I remember being very angry with God. I remember wondering in my head, "Why would a good God let bad things happen?" I've known many good people who have had horrible tragedies befall them. And God stood by and let it happen. Good women have been raped - women who love the Lord and want to do what's right have been kidnapped and viciously stripped of their purity (and I'm not referring to women in Africa.... I'm referring to women in the US who live in nice neighborhoods); good men have been sent to war and captured and tortured; babies have been born dead to good parents and babies have died in their sleep while their good parents were home; innocent children have been molested and still those children go on trying to be good. The stories go on of bad things happening to good people.....


We cannot trust God to make sense. Because in our human frailty and fallenness we will never be able to make sense of what an infinite, sovereign Lord ordains.


Interestingly, in studying Biblical texts and the historical accounts we find that the words of the holy scriptures do not contradict themselves. The Bible has outlasted any other historical document as being the most accurate, the most read, and the most printed. It is fully true. And it tells us about God. So it can be trusted to be an honest description of God's character.


And this is what it says in the book of Psalms (these things are started throughout the scriptures, but I have posted just one passage for your enlightenment)......

Psalm 111

The Lord Praised for His Goodness.

111 ^[a]Praise ^[b]the Lord!

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart,

In the company of the upright and in the assembly.
² Great are the works of the Lord;
They are ^[c] studied by all who delight in them.
^3 [d] Splendid and majestic is His work,
And His righteousness endures forever.
⁴ He has made His ^[e]wonders ^[f]to be remembered;
The Lord is gracious and compassionate.
⁵ He has given ^[g]food to those who ^[h]fear Him;
He will remember His covenant forever.
⁶ He has made known to His people the power of His works,
In giving them the heritage of the nations.

⁷ The works of His hands are ^[i] truth and justice;
All His precepts are ^[j]sure.
⁸ They are upheld forever and ever;
They are performed in ^[k] truth and uprightness.
⁹ He has sent redemption to His people;
He has ^[l]ordained His covenant forever;
Holy and ^[m]awesome is His name.
¹⁰ The ^[n] fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who ^[o]do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.

Notice the characteristics of God in bold. His attributes endure forever. He does what is right. He is what is right. He knows what is right for the people that He created. He is trustworthy.


On what basis can we claim that He is trustworthy? The basis of absolute truth: that He is who He says He is and that He will never change. Can we claim that He is trustworthy based on our own understanding of what He does? No. We will fail to trust Him if we base our faith on our own will. 


I thought I would post these thoughts I have been grappling with today on our Manly&Babe blog, because these thoughts effect how I view our future. And they are thoughts and beliefs that Manly and I share. We are trusting the Lord with our lives, with our future marriage, with our future family. Come what may. The vows we will make on October 27th will bind us to one another through rain or shine. Our hope is in Him. And we are encouraged by stories of faith, such as by Ian & Larissa Murphy. 

In the Kitchen with Manly and Babe

I Manly, finally got around to writing a blog post as both Babe and I have finally had the time to share a relaxing weekend together away from family, friends, and responsibility.  Last week we were with Babe's brother and his family in Fairfax, Virginia.  Sunday morning, Babe wanted to make me an omelet for breakfast.   She poured the scrambled eggs into a very small sauce pan, and while the eggs were still wet, she plopped in all the ingredients.  "Oh my," I said, "you do not know how to make an omelet do you?"

Babe's sister in-law was in the kitchen during that time and was about to become Mother Bear in Babe's defense, but Babe simply stated helplessly with a whimper "I'm sorry, but I don't know how, but I thought  I'd try."

The evening before this weekend, I received an iMessage from her stating how she wanted to make omelets again for breakfast Saturday morning, yet this time, with my help.  After running to H-Mart for some missing items - tomato, onion, mushroom, cilantro, and about everything else required for an omelet - we were off to the kitchen.

Out of my many years of being in the kitchen cooking for largely myself, I explained to her the few key ground rules that make a good chef, an excellent chef.  Your skill is not based upon ingredients or the recipe as a monkey can pick ingredients and follow a book.  Yet, culinary skill comes through proper planning and preparation of the ingredients, and the timing of bringing everything cooked to finish at the same time to be served.  This prevents soggy or over cooked vegetables and meats, or finished dishes cooling for prolonged periods while you are still waiting on that souffle to finish in the oven.

We diced and sliced every ingredient up before hand, and placed them all into small ingredient bowls to be added when needed.  Next we sautéed the onion, mushroom and bacon together first and left them on a warm simmer while the large skillet was heated up; as I explained to her, the real omelet is what is inside the egg.  The egg is just the tortilla that holds it all together, where the cheese is your glue.  I helped cook the first one, and let her cook the second one, the one that I'd have for myself.  It ended up being probably one of the best omelets I ever had.  

In conclusion I am reminded of the old Chinese proverb by Loa Tzu "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."  I could always make myself an omelete, and be fed for a day.  However, teach a good woman how to make an omelete, and you'll be fed for a lifetime.  

Till next time,

- Manly

  

Wedding Teaser #3

Picking out songs for the ceremony. Here's a teaser for the week - the lyrics by Everly Brothers in a newer version by Rosie Thomas.