Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Chronicles of Manly & Babe is currently under construction. We'll let you know when we're up and running again :)

Monday, June 18, 2012

Wedding Teaser #4

Starting the countdown:


If you are to be invited to the wedding, please sign our guest book and find more information about travel, etc. http://CariBowman.ourwedding.com

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Love Like This

I love other people's love stories. This couple is such an inspiration to me. Please check out their blog and watch the videos of them telling their story. They are remarkable people! This song reminds me of them :)



Love Like This blog: http://www.lovelikethislife.com/


Saturday, June 9, 2012

Birthday Story

Around this time last year Ian drove 16 hours through the night to surprise me for my 24th birthday (I'm not sure he actually knew how old I was turning then, because last night he asked me how old I'm turning today!). Interestingly, I wasn't sure at the time if I truly loved him, loved him enough to marry him. And I was scared. I wasn't scared of Ian. I was scared of committing to the unknown. He wasn't asking me to do that for him, but he was pursuing me and he truly did love me.

My birthday flashback......

We went on a road trip to TN in April 2011, staying with friends along the way, and during that trip we were faced with the reality of each other's weaknesses and temperaments and ways of handling situations and energy levels..... We were faced with the reality of real life together! We are very different in most every way. I knew that pretty much from the getgo. But I just wasn't sure if I was willing to make the leap into the unknown - the future where anything can happen - with a man who was so different from myself. Our trip to TN was eye-opening.

So, the next month - May 2011 - Ian called me to say with a tone of intent, "I need to tell you something." I was suspicious, "Does he want to break up with me? What could be so serious?" He told me what I had sort of been hoping for but what I was also scared of - "I've been thinking about this and praying about it. And I've decided that I need to move to Baltimore. We're never going to know each other better or get our relationship figured out if we don't live in the same city for a while and attend the same church." On the one hand, I was so relieved. He was stepping up in confidence, making a significant change in his life for the good of our relationship, and he was assured this was the leading of the Holy Spirit in his heart. Of course, I felt so valued, so precious to him. But, on the other hand, I was nervous about what it might be like to live near each other, to have the same group of friends, to hang out almost all the time, to start attending a church we both liked together, to lose my sense of independence. It could be wonderful or it could be terrible. At that point, we'd only been dating 9 months and that had all been long-distance, as a result of meeting online.

Ian's plan to find a job as soon as possible and pack up all his belongings in MO and move to MD was put into motion soon after our conversation in May. The plan was put into motion unbeknownst to me, however. He moved half his stuff to MD on his trip to surprise me for my birthday. Obviously, I didn't know what was going on. And, at the same time, he didn't know what was going on with me - all the emotions of doubt and fear and confusion that were churning inside me.

Whatever it was we talked about the night before my birthday, I don't remember. He had packed his car full and talked to me on the phone before leaving, though I didn't know he was going on a trip and I certainly wasn't expecting any big surprises the next day. But whatever it was we talked about in that brief conversation before bed, it was something that got my ire up. I decided the next day that I wasn't going to call him after work, because I didn't want to have to talk to him. Needless to say, I was in for it.

I came home from work and went to the basement in a huff to finish a project at my desk. While sitting there thinking of how I was NOT going to call Ian and while thinking that I was just so confused about my own feelings toward him, the hallway door behind me started to creek and slide open across the carpet. I was a little concerned but I figured somebody in my family might be pranking me. I didn't hear anyone laughing, though, so I glanced over my shoulder. And to my great shock there was Ian, like a ghost, leaning against the door frame. I was speechless. And he was about to fall over from exhaustion. He finally broke the silence to explain that he'd driven 16 hrs straight through the night to be with me for the next week for my birthday and that he'd also brought some of his things with him for moving. I was still speechless.

My birthday to date......

Looking back, a year later, I'm so grateful that he came and that he showed me what a sacrifice he was wiling to make out of love for me. I was grateful last June, too, after I'd gotten over the initial shock. But I'm grateful in a different way now.

Now I'm not over-analyzing and trying to figure out myself in this relationship. Now I'm not twisted up in knots when thinking about the future and whether or not we should be together. Now I'm not concerned about whether or not I truly love him for who he is and am willing to commit to loving him through good times and bad times. Now I KNOW without a doubt that I love Ian Antons more than I've loved any other man and that I'll be far more happy celebrating every one of my birthdays with him.

As a result of his move in July 2011, we were able to see up close and personal who each other was on a daily basis and we were able to establish our own community of friends from church and work. By early fall, the anxiety and the doubt began to fade, and I knew I was falling in love with Ian. He had done such a courageous thing by leaving his job and moving to the east coast, where he'd never been before, and reestablishing his life for the sake of our friendship. The shifting of our circumstances laid the foundation for a stronger, more mature relationship. We have become the best of friends over the past year.

Now we look back on my last birthday with laughter, look at this birthday with joy, and look forward to all the birthdays to come with gratitude.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

January 25th, 2012

I wrote our engagement story on the wedding website for those who will be attending the event. But I'm sharing it here with you, because you are our guest any time you visit our blog. I'm sure you'll enjoy finding out the details of how Ian was finally able to give me the ring. Feel free to post any memories or questions or wittiness about our story.

http://CariBowman.ourwedding.com


Rewind. Pre-engagement flashback. The first day Ian met me in person (after two months of talking on the phone for hours and hours every week), he told me that he loved me. I, of course, responded in turn. But I wasn't really sure in my heart that I loved him; I was suspicious that I just wanted to 'wing it' in the relationship and have a fun fling for a while. But Ian was intent on winning my heart for he had truly fallen in love with me.

A month after we started dating, he asked if he could buy me a diamond. I was a little bewildered as to how to respond. I thought I loved him, but I still wasn't sure if I understood the definition of love in that kind of relationship and if I was ready to make a commitment. Ian told me that he just wanted to show me how much he loved me and how intentional he meant to be in our relationship. So, I consented to looking at rings and to considering engagement in the future. But I made it clear that if he asked me to marry him at that time that I would say NO. 

Fast forward. A year later, we were both fully in love and looking ahead to marriage at some point. We spent Christmas with the Antons family and warmed them up to who we were as a couple and our future aspirations. Ian's family seemed very much in favor of our relationship, which gave Ian the confidence to continue with his plan of presenting the ring to me and asking for my hand in marriage.

The day he proposed, he met me at the door of my house when I'd come home from work. We were to get ready quickly for the family orientation meeting at his fire department in VA that was to be held for the new recruits that evening. I thought I should go get dressed, but he told me I needed to come to the basement to see something. That let me know something was up. When I turned the corner from the steps I saw two basins on the floor and a towel. I couldn't help but laugh. It just seemed quirky to have basins and water prepared for me. I knew what he wanted to do - he wanted to wash my feet, which made me laugh even more because I'm ticklish and my feet were stinky that day!

Despite my giggles, Ian was poised and confident as usual while he washed my feet and quoted scripture about the purpose of washing a fellow Christian's feet. Jesus had done this for his disciples in order to show them that He was their servant, that He was humbly giving of Himself to them and willing to cleanse them (spiritually). Note: I did get it together and take him seriously. Ian explained to me that he wanted to serve me with his life and that he wanted to lead me as Christ leads the church. He gave me the ring and said that he wanted to spend his life with me. 

It was a very sweet moment. I hope we never forget that important step in our journey.

Friday, May 18, 2012

The Online Introduction

This was the post that started it all. I wrote this little description about myself when I joined Marry Well for a 5-day free trial. I had read other profiles of users and I was very unimpressed. Users seemed to be either too verbose or very reserved about introducing themselves on their profile; I figured there had to be some trick, some charm for writing a description that would draw in any seeker. When I wrote about myself my intention was to see if I could get people to respond to my wit and candor virtually as if they were meeting me in person. I wanted to be an intrigue. Just for the heck of it. I had no idea that it really would work and that a guy was really going to fall for my wit and candor. Haha!

Ian read this and was sold at "spunky" and the "Winnie the Pooh" moment.

Haha, the question is where to start? No person is cut and dried, black and white. What do I say about myself that paints a distinct, colorful picture (to show liveliness) that's yet somewhat abstract )to allow for mystique)? Hmmm..... let me try ;)
Spunky could be my middle name but instead it's Jean. I'm a teacher though I wouldn't mind being a pilot. I love the saxophone and don't know how to play it. I jump on trampolines as if I weren't close enough to the sky already. I think a lot so maybe I should find a log, sit on it, furrow my brow, and tap my forehead, 'Think, think, think' (says Winnie the Pooh). I'd live in a grand log house in the West mountains if I could. I'm called Short-Stuff by my brother because I'm shorter than he is. My mother calls me Precious because I'm her only daughter, and everyone else calls me CJ, because a double-name is too long to pronounce apparently. If I'm asked to go on a walk in the woods, I'll go, and if I'm asked to prance through the field, I'll already be doing that, and I don't mind a sprint either. I love to dance to most any kind of music so I'm a social butterfly, but I also sit in cafes with a good book for a friend or an actual friendly face. I feel that I'll never get old and will always enjoy life. I would paint more but I'm restless I guess. And, for sure, I know who the Lord is because I study His word, and I think it's a privilege to journey with Him on this side.... and will be on the other.
For deeper thoughts of mine, you can visit me at www.journeytoandfro.blogspot.com.
I think this may have been one of the pictures I posted.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Airport Love




Laughable

Our engagement pictures were sent to us today, and this one just made me laugh out loud! I had to share.


The Flight

November 4, 2010

It seems forever ago since we met each for the first time at BWI. At that point, we'd been talking on the phone for two months. We'd met through a Christian dating website in August, though both of us were subscribed to the site sort of as a joke or without any intention of meeting a future spouse. Ian and I had been burned by other relationships the year before, so we wanted to just develop friendships within our churches and online, so that we could have people our age to exchange intellectual thoughts with and have some kind of companionship. Ian was definitely at the stage in life of thinking he wanted to get married in the next few years. I was just in the I-don't-know-what-comes-next stage. I had kind of given up on my dream to be married before age 25. When Ian and I started corresponding on this informal, conversational dating website we found that we had a lot of similar theological, biblical, cultural views. We enjoyed each other's thoughts and ideas so much that we would talk up to 25 hours a week. And we talked about everything. Past relationships, present decisions, future goals; stupid stuff, silly stuff, serious stuff; our interests, our pursuits, our differences. We really knew each other well, so it made sense for us to meet in person. Ian says now that he knew I was the girl for him before we met in person, whereas I just wanted to have fun with the whole experience (as you can see in the picture above). But here we are now, nearly two years later, and we are best friends and true companions (as you can see in the picture below). We're thankful we took the risk of meeting and then chose to take the flight of love together.

March 31, 2012


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Addendum to "Trust in Truth": a post from Larissa Murphy


Counting the Cost

Marriage is a huge decision. Every couple pursuing marriage must count the costs of a lifetime commitment. For some couples the cost can be as big as giving up a career to move to a new place, or as "small" as giving up holiday traditions to make new ones with in-laws.







Trust in Truth

Today I read the blog of a man and woman who are married, but they have no conventional marriage. The husband is disabled - he has severe traumatic brain damage. The accident happened while they were dating. Five years later they decided together that they should be married. The husband still suffers from his lifelong disabilities and his wife has committed to being his lifelong care-giver. She is not partaking of a traditionally happy-rose-colored marriage; she even says on her blog that it is difficult to rejoice in their type of marriage. Yet, God brought that man and that woman together, and He put it on that woman's heart to keep loving that man and to marry him, despite the challenges and disappointment.


We cannot trust God to make sense. Have you ever thought about that? I have. Many times. When I was a little girl, I remember being very angry with God. I remember wondering in my head, "Why would a good God let bad things happen?" I've known many good people who have had horrible tragedies befall them. And God stood by and let it happen. Good women have been raped - women who love the Lord and want to do what's right have been kidnapped and viciously stripped of their purity (and I'm not referring to women in Africa.... I'm referring to women in the US who live in nice neighborhoods); good men have been sent to war and captured and tortured; babies have been born dead to good parents and babies have died in their sleep while their good parents were home; innocent children have been molested and still those children go on trying to be good. The stories go on of bad things happening to good people.....


We cannot trust God to make sense. Because in our human frailty and fallenness we will never be able to make sense of what an infinite, sovereign Lord ordains.


Interestingly, in studying Biblical texts and the historical accounts we find that the words of the holy scriptures do not contradict themselves. The Bible has outlasted any other historical document as being the most accurate, the most read, and the most printed. It is fully true. And it tells us about God. So it can be trusted to be an honest description of God's character.


And this is what it says in the book of Psalms (these things are started throughout the scriptures, but I have posted just one passage for your enlightenment)......

Psalm 111

The Lord Praised for His Goodness.

111 [a]Praise [b]the Lord!
I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart,
In the company of the upright and in the assembly.
Great are the works of the Lord;
They are [c] studied by all who delight in them.
[d] Splendid and majestic is His work,
And His righteousness endures forever.
He has made His [e]wonders [f]to be remembered;
The Lord is gracious and compassionate.
He has given [g]food to those who [h]fear Him;
He will remember His covenant forever.
He has made known to His people the power of His works,
In giving them the heritage of the nations.
The works of His hands are [i] truth and justice;
All His precepts are [j]sure.
They are upheld forever and ever;
They are performed in [k] truth and uprightness.
He has sent redemption to His people;
He has [l]ordained His covenant forever;
Holy and [m]awesome is His name.
10 The [n] fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
good understanding have all those who [o]do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.

Notice the characteristics of God in bold. His attributes endure forever. He does what is right. He is what is right. He knows what is right for the people that He created. He is trustworthy.


On what basis can we claim that He is trustworthy? The basis of absolute truth: that He is who He says He is and that He will never change. Can we claim that He is trustworthy based on our own understanding of what He does? No. We will fail to trust Him if we base our faith on our own will. 


I thought I would post these thoughts I have been grappling with today on our Manly&Babe blog, because these thoughts effect how I view our future. And they are thoughts and beliefs that Manly and I share. We are trusting the Lord with our lives, with our future marriage, with our future family. Come what may. The vows we will make on October 27th will bind us to one another through rain or shine. Our hope is in Him. And we are encouraged by stories of faith, such as by Ian & Larissa Murphy




Saturday, May 5, 2012

In the Kitchen with Manly and Babe

I Manly, finally got around to writing a blog post as both Babe and I have finally had the time to share a relaxing weekend together away from family, friends, and responsibility.  Last week we were with Babe's brother and his family in Fairfax, Virginia.  Sunday morning, Babe wanted to make me an omelet for breakfast.   She poured the scrambled eggs into a very small sauce pan, and while the eggs were still wet, she plopped in all the ingredients.  "Oh my," I said, "you do not know how to make an omelet do you?"

Babe's sister in-law was in the kitchen during that time and was about to become Mother Bear in Babe's defense, but Babe simply stated helplessly with a whimper "I'm sorry, but I don't know how, but I thought  I'd try."

The evening before this weekend, I received an iMessage from her stating how she wanted to make omelets again for breakfast Saturday morning, yet this time, with my help.  After running to H-Mart for some missing items - tomato, onion, mushroom, cilantro, and about everything else required for an omelet - we were off to the kitchen.

Out of my many years of being in the kitchen cooking for largely myself, I explained to her the few key ground rules that make a good chef, an excellent chef.  Your skill is not based upon ingredients or the recipe as a monkey can pick ingredients and follow a book.  Yet, culinary skill comes through proper planning and preparation of the ingredients, and the timing of bringing everything cooked to finish at the same time to be served.  This prevents soggy or over cooked vegetables and meats, or finished dishes cooling for prolonged periods while you are still waiting on that souffle to finish in the oven.

We diced and sliced every ingredient up before hand, and placed them all into small ingredient bowls to be added when needed.  Next we sautéed the onion, mushroom and bacon together first and left them on a warm simmer while the large skillet was heated up; as I explained to her, the real omelet is what is inside the egg.  The egg is just the tortilla that holds it all together, where the cheese is your glue.  I helped cook the first one, and let her cook the second one, the one that I'd have for myself.  It ended up being probably one of the best omelets I ever had.  

In conclusion I am reminded of the old Chinese proverb by Loa Tzu "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."  I could always make myself an omelete, and be fed for a day.  However, teach a good woman how to make an omelete, and you'll be fed for a lifetime.  

Till next time,
- Manly
  


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Wedding Teaser #3

Picking out songs for the ceremony. Here's a teaser for the week - the lyrics by Everly Brothers in a newer version by Rosie Thomas.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Wedding Teaser #2: article by Real Simple

Hey friends,
For those of you in the process of planning your wedding - or helping someone plan their wedding - here's a great article about budgeting and how to save money on the big idea and the details.

Tips from the article that I am already implementing:

1.) I am choosing to save money on my flowers and my cake. I found a picture of a simple bouquet through a google search, and I decided I would collect the parts for the bouquet and have a friend assemble them the day off the wedding. As for the cake, I will probably have several small round cakes designed and may add my own details after they are delivered.

2.) A friend will be designing the wedding programs. I am designing my own invitations and using materials from Michaels and JoAnn's; a friend is helping with the printing and assembly process.

3.) I am not serving favors at our wedding reception, since most guests do not remember to take a favor or even want one! And I've been to a lot of weddings, so I'm pretty sure it's an accurate assessment. I doubt any guest is going to complain or miss-out if I don't offer favors. It's a simple, easy thing to pick out of the wedding list that isn't necessary and will save money.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

In the Kitchen with Manly & Babe

For those of you who haven't seen on FB already, our engagement pictures were posted!

A few weeks ago I asked you viewers to guess what the most likely scenes would be for capturing the moments in our relationship for the engagement pictures. Not many of you took the risk of guessing. But I'll make the big reveal anyway ;)

One of the locations was the kitchen! Because we do like to cook together and we're pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. Ahemmm..... Well, I should be honest. Ian is really the chief chef in the kitchen; he really is a very talented multi-tasker and creative with spices and herbs and flavors. To be honest, I am the one who's learning from him. Haha!

Below I've selected a sample of the first shots taken. There are others that were taken in other locations. But for the purpose of drawing you in, I've posted "In the Kitchen with Manly & Babe." Please do check out some of the amazing shots that Photography by Susie captured of the two of us!






Friday, April 6, 2012

Wedding Teaser #1

Every few weeks I'll post something with the category of "Wedding Teaser." I'll post some articles about wedding planning, my own lessons learned, pictures of the Manly & Babe theme, recommended vendors, etc. So look for Wedding Teaser posts!

Today I thought I'd show you three images that will inspire you to GUESS the main elements of our wedding. Try guessing where these images were taken, or what the theme is, or what colors will be used.









Sunday, April 1, 2012

Dwell/Dwelt/Dwelling

It seems, in the blink of an eye, another weekend gone.

Manly sped up here Friday evening after his classes, since we hadn't seen each other in two weeks. I heartily embraced him when he walked in the door that evening. Saturday we spent the morning talking, catching up on each others' past weeks of opportunity and thought. Those morning hours on the weekends are so sweet for us. Quiet contentment in each others arms while chitchatting and then making a delightful little eggs and bacon breakfast together.

That same day Ian and I had our engagement photo shoot with our photographers. I won't give too many details away, so as not to spoil the antcipation of seeing the photos posted here in a couple weeks, but Ian and I asked them to capture the most special moments in our relationship up to this point that took place at specific locations. I wonder..... Can any of you guess what those locations or special moments were??? If you want to guess, post a reply to this post!

This morning Manly and I joined our congregation at City of Hope Church for Palm Sunday service to worship the Lord in spirit and in truth. With full hearts we sang to the God, who sent His Son Jesus to earth to do a most glorious thing: lay His life down as a perfect sacrifice for the remission of sins, for the redemption of all people who believe in His power to set us free from our bondage of sin. The service was meant to remind us of Christ's entry into Jerusalem a week prior to His death and resurrection; the purpose of His trip was to announce that He was the Messiah, the One who had come to be the Savior. The opportunity for fellowship and worship is very important and meaningful to me and Ian. After the message, we shared lunch with the many families in our congregation and gathered in groups to pray for one another.

Later in the day, Manly and I took naps, worked on taxes, took a jont around the lake at dusk, and ate a couple grilled-cheese before he hit the road.

It's difficult to describe what it feels like for me when he packs up his stuff and leaves. It's never a quick goodbye, although he keeps saying he's in a hurry. Tonight he came back to the porch, where I was standing to wave goodbye, five times just for ONE more goodnight kiss ;)

Somehow, I have this mixture of emotions about him driving off for another week apart. It's like a sense of loneliness even though my best girl friend lives in the area and I see my family every day; it's a sense of relief because I'll be able to get back to my to-do list without as much distraction; it's a sense of sweetness and delight that I am so in love with this man that I deeply desire to keep spending the rest of my life journey with him; it's a sense of longing and anticipation to just be in his arms and in his presense and listening to his steady voice a little while longer, even before his car's pulled out of the driveway.

It's amazing to be in love like this. I have never experience any relationship quite like it. This knowing, belonging, home-coming that we have found in each other is from God. He intended for this kind of relationship to be a bonding, an intoxication. And I can't help but wonder if God also intends for our relationship with Him to be just as full of loveliness and delight, anticipation and adventure. After all, He does call Himself the bridegroom and He does speak to us as His bride. I believe He desires the same bond and intimacy with us in a spiritual sense. Wow, what a wonder there is in finding out more about this King of kings through earthly relationships that He has designed to mirror His own characteristics and ways of relating to us. Dwell on that for a little while, why don't you? :)

Monday, March 12, 2012

Topic for Discussion: Living Together Before Marriage

To live together or not to live together? That is the question.

It's a trend to live with one's significant other these days, and many couples choose to before considering the possibility of marriage. I was discussing this very thing with a coworker, who is a proponent of living together, and she mentioned that in her psych class statistics show that there is a higher divorce rate after the couple lived together prior to their marital commitment. So I wonder..... Why would that be? And why are most people ok with a lifestyle that produces a statistically negative outcome, like she is?

My coworker believes that living together can help a couple get to know each other better, which will help them make the decision about whether or not to be married. Others have told me that a couple is meant to be together one way or another (the pop coin phrase: "it's their destiny") and that living together before marriage or even getting married, for that matter, is not the deciding factor.

Huh, says I.

I'm not trying to be overly intellectual by saying this, but these really are illogical thought processes concerning the issue, and it seems to me a majority of society is not willing to face reality for what it is.......

Let's reason through it this way. Here are three potential characteristics of the live-together couple and the foundation they could build pre legal commitment; I will explain why there is a potential for these characteristics to develop......

A.) Potential for distrust:
Distrust can be fostered, because neither partner is fully committed to the other when they're just cohabiting; it takes a license and thousands of dollars for a celebration (if a couple so chooses) to make it the real deal. But prior to all that "fluff," neither partner is obligated to completely trust the other one, because there's no expectation that the relationship will last.

So why would it be any different post marriage? If you were willing to live with your partner in a married way - sharing the same living space, sharing the same bed, starting and ending the day together - without being married, how does having a license and a wedding change the dynamics of the relationship? Wouldn't there be some sense of distrust, because the person moved in with you before, not knowing if he/she wanted to be with you forever..... Couldn't he/she decide that after marriage, too? Isn't that why statistics show such a high divorce rate for couples who live together first?

B.) Potential for dishonesty:
Dishonesty can be fostered, because there is no public contract (which is stated in the marriage vows) to love one another for better or worse and because there is no foundation of trust. A bride and groom make vows to one another as a promise until death parts them; they want each other and those around them to know that they trust each other and are committing to total, raw trust and honesty.

But for those who live together before getting married, their relationship has the potential for failure. Honesty has not been the priority from the beginning, because they've shared a bed with that partner just like they did with the person before (or the next person, for that matter). There's no honesty when there's been no vow. And a person's word about love and togetherness is not enough to go on - it's a persons actions that speak louder about their honest intentions.

C.) Potential for discontentment:
Discontentment can be fostered, because living together is a casually comfortable commitment that can be gotten out of just as easily as it was gotten into. Contentment comes with staying the course and knowing that, no matter what, the relationship has to work. Whereas discontentment comes when something feels old and discontinued and something else looks newer and brighter.

Every human experiences discontentment at one point or another in his life; it's a predictable result of living in a broken and sinful world. But that discontentment doesn't have to be the feeling that allows one to stay or go in a relationship. Discontentment can be overcome by putting forth the effort to make the next best step. So, for a couple that lives together, they may decide that they've been together long enough to know that they can get along and they're comfortable staying together, therefore, in order to stave off discontentment (or ignore it) they get married. Is that really a good reason to get married, though? Considering the possibilities for distrust and dishonesty, is getting married really going to create contentment? Becoming discontent is a real possibility, whether a couple is dating, engaged or married, so what's going to hold a person back from just picking up and moving on?

To live together or to not live together? Is it wise to do pre marriage? That is the question. Well.....

Here's how Manly and Babe would answer that. We've learned a lot about each other through a variety of circumstances in our year and a half of dating, but we've never lived together in the same house nor have we ever shared the same bed. We'd much rather get to know each other's character, personal lifestyle preferences, habits, families, communication styles, and things like that before we live together. And we'll only live together once we've made a public commitment before God and witnesses to be forever trustworthy, honest and content. To live together is what we are aiming for, and it's taken a lot of hard work to prepare us for that big step, which merits a license, a celebration, and a mug of beer, as Manly would like to add :)

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Country Song: A Woman Like You


Ian and I have a thing for this song......
Because we know how it really would be, if he hadn't found me......
He'd still be looking for that dream motorcycle, playing Battlefield 3 most of his days off, buying all new Mac products, and chewing the fat with a bunch of guys with a beer in hand.
Not that he's completely changed since he met me ;) But he is glad that he can enjoy my cooking, our sweet moments together over a paintball game (occasionally), call me Babe whenever he needs me by his side, and put a ring on his hand. 
It's good to not be a single man, says the Good Book - "Rejoice in the wife of your youth" (Proverbs 5:18).

Sunday, March 4, 2012

In the Kitchen with Manly & Babe

Manly and I like to experiment with food and be creative with our meals. We intend to share many of our experiments, funny stories, and recipes with you on our blog. Look for "In the Kitchen with Manly & Babe."

The other night we made Chicken Tikka Masala, a spicy Indian dish. It turned out SO well! Highly recommend using this recipe for the dish.

When we cook, Ian likes to impersonate an asian chef. This is usually what it's like for me to work in the kitchen with Manly.......

After all the ginger had been smashed, the last drop of cream stirred in, and the garnish applied..... voila! (because we like French food too ;)


Thursday, March 1, 2012

Learning in Love

Every couple enjoys different types of activities together..... some couples go out for coffee in the evenings, sit around and kiss for a while, some snuggle up for an episode of Top Gear, others have Friday night dinner dates, or watch a chick-flick (c'mon guys.... admit it), and find a comfy couch to share a few smooches, some go mountain hiking, or just find a good book to read together... and swap a few pecks after every chapter. But Ian and I have been way more creative with our quality time ;) Haha!

The truth is - those are all activities that define our relationship. And spending quality time together in those ways has strengthened and matured our bond in friendship, courtship and now engagement.

Oddly enough, we really do like to read together. Or.... er, I think it's a good idea so I suggest it (on a Sunday afternoon typically) to which Ian face-palms and groans, "Another book about relationships?" And I reply with a superior air, "Yes. I have a BA in Psychology, therefore, I believe it's important for all couples to discuss the various factors and levels of their relationship in order to maintain healthy intimacy." To which Ian face-palms again.

But no, really, Ian and I have found it quite helpful to read a smattering from a few resources now and then. Certain topics or pieces of information from scholarly sources have spurred on discussions between the two of us about who we are as individuals, our future family goals, our Biblical knowledge of finances, or how to serve the Lord. I thought I'd share with you some of the books that Ian and I have enjoyed (below each cover is a personal description), and I hope you will post in return some of the resources you and yours have gleaned from as well.

We started flipping through this one when we were new at getting to know one another. Never finished it but it was helpful to get the ball rolling on some of the topics, such as how we mimic our same-gender parent in relationship roles.

This book was given to us by a dear older married man that Ian stayed with while we visited Dayton last Spring. We have used this resource as a reference when we need to fix (understand) the other lightbulb ;)

This devotional, gifted to us by my dad, journeys through the wisdom and the application of God's Word. It's been refreshing for us to meditate together and to pray through scripture.

Yes, we have picked up this on occasion. Though Ian might be a little embarrassed by the cover. But, we may actually use a passage from it in our wedding ceremony. This little book is a compilation of Elisabeth Elliot's nougats of advice (written journal style) to her engaged daughter. She artfully, tactfully explained in a series of notes about the reality of marrying a sinner, which Ian and I read together, and it helped us approach our expectations of one another reasonably.

Our pastor - Irwyn Ince - from City of Hope is currently taking us through the chapters of this premarital counseling book. Ian and I would recommend this to any couple that has not yet delved into pertinent topics concerning marriage and family and all the things that go along with preparing to be life-partners. This book covers a range of topics and facilitates introspection and group discussions. Irwyn is taking me and Ian through it with a different spin, since we have already traversed a lot of ground in our period of dating.

This was Ian's Valentine's gift to me ;) The poor man had been through hell and back that particular week of fire academy, and all he could think of was how to survive..... and then give me something for Valentine's to show me how much he needed me to understand what he was going through. We are in the process of gleaning from this resource.

Please do share with us any funny, clever, insightful pieces of literature or advice that you have utilized in your relationship. Clearly, Manly and Babe love to learn :)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Today's List

A quick list to Manly (in an email) on a Wednesday. Gotta keep him up to date on my thoughts ;P

"I have to tell you three things about today:
1) two more days till we are in each other's arms again! xoxo
2) the shoes from rei may be the most comfortable shoes i have ever worn in my life
3) i love blue skies like there were today, and i look forward to many blue skies with you

I hope today went well for you. Prayed for you. Hope you get good rest, Manly."

Monday, February 20, 2012

A Monday Off = Time Well Wasted

A holiday can be an opportunity to get things done that really should be done..... such as bills, emails, phone calls, resumes, cleaning (obviously, I have a lot to catch up on). But, we didn't take advantage of our holiday weekend that way. We just counted it is a day well wasted - on each other :)

Turkey bacon lunch for Manly:


The whole time we walk we discussed architecture and various designs for our future home:



Bass Pro Shop/Outdoor World:


We gonna live out in the sticks and the mud and drive four-wheelers:



Our country theme song for the day - Time Well Wasted.


Horribly Awesome

This is Manly. I decided to make my first topic title horribly awesome because it defines so much of this last week. Firstly, I was told by Babe to make my first blog post. I am not much of a writer so this has the potential to be horrible, or awesome. If I wish it the best, I hope to establish a nice happy medium of it possibly being both.

Secondly, my work life right now has been absolutely horrible, but at times in reflection, awesome. I am not at liberty to explain every detail of the last week as I am in a professional firefighter recruit academy. But I will say this last week has been like the combination of emotions when you have jumped off a very large cliff into a lake or river. It's horrible at first in terms of fear of the unknown, possible suffocation, claustrophobia, injury, and even death. But then awesome, once it's all over after you have landed in the water, taken the plunge, and have swam out of the water not having been left with a broken back.

Because of this, reflecting upon this last week, and then just having the goal to get through it all to spend time with my Babe on the weekend has made it a horribly awesome week. I am sure most of our lives are filled with these horribly awesome moments, but that's what helps us grow - the horrible. And the awesome is what makes us so grateful to count our blessing through the midst of the experiences we've been through and have shared with others throughout the journey. Can you relate? Have you've had any horribly awesome moments yourself?

Till next time,
Manly

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Hello,
We are Manly and Babe. A year and a half ago we met online. He was listed as Ian and I was listed as Cari-Jean, considering those are our legal names. But after conversing on the phone for hours at a time, a nostalgia began to creep in as I listened to this man tell me of his mountain biking, Eagle Scout, Iraqi freedom, gun-carrying, wood-chopping, fire-fighting days. He mostly wore plaid shirts, I could see from the pictures online, and he got most excited when he could talk of his many manly pursuits. And then I knew - because I had always dreamed of marrying a lumberjack - that his nick-name should be Manly. Though I knew before we met in person that he was the right Manly for me, I wasn't completely convinced for several months of how well I could love this manly man. So, he mounted his white horse and proved his manhood all the more valiantly by standing strong before the four men of my life - my three big brothers and my dad who are all taller than he - and by sheepishly smiling through all my mother's giddy exclamations of how handsome and fine he was. This man named Ian Antons took up honor with my family and continued to pursue my heart, even when I resisted out of my own fear and confusion of what the future would hold if I gave into this "man online" and his loving request to experience the adventures of life with him. Whenever I had doubts about how crazy it was to fall in love after only four months of knowing each other, I would quietly, tentatively call out, "Manly?" And he never failed to answer, "Yes, Babe." He was true to his name - a strong and steady Manly - and I realized that all my girlish desires, colorful dreams, and spontaneous ways (even jumping on a dating website for a 5-day-whim) made me the perfect Babe for him. That is the short of how we two have been coupled Manly and Babe. Soon - very soon, sometimes it doesn't seem soon enough - we will be dubbed, both online and legally, Man and Wife.

This blog is of the chronicles of our relationship from this season to the next, and the ones after those. For any who are suckers for love, these posts of flashbacks and aspirations, silly recordings and photographs, wedding and life planning, will show how delightfully innocent it is to be young lovers and dreamers of a good, long married life together.